Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
