Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
