therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
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