JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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