guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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