Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
