We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
he told me I talked like a deaf person
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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