I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
We have so much sex to catch up on
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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