you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
