evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
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