Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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