Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Is it because I queefed?
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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