I faked an abortion last night.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
