If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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