trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
