Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
