she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
