my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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