I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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