Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
the day after is always just damage control
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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