i jhust puked up my retainher.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
