he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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