bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
as a side note pls kill me
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
