There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
