Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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