that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
i was born a porn star she said
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
BRING THE BAGELS
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
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