Cold hands, warm shart.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Randomize
