So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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