make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
