ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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