bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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