Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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