he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
im having a threesome with these popsicles
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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