I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
