Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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