you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Randomize
