just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
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