I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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