turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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