How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Oh god it's open bar.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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