this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Randomize
