I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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