Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
