he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize