I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
