well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
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Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
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well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
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