she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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