please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
