but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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