Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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