I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
