i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
