i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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