Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I deserve to be covered in dicks
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
