i think my tv is drunk
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
