Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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