Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
