Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
