The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
