i barfeds in our rink
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
