**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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