I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Randomize
