there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
